september 18

JP: Den eneste vej frem

212  kommentarer

Jeg havde båret rundt på skænderiet hele dagen. Det sad i kroppen på mig, ikke som en vrede, men som en sorg, der var så eksistentiel, at den satte spørgsmålstegn ved vores ægteskabs beståen.

I mørket på Nørreport Station, dumper jeg fortvivlet ned på en bænk, mens jeg venter på toget, der skal køre mig hjem til ham og børnene. Jeg kigger ned, isolerer mig fra de andre, og mens jeg sidder der og forsøger at falde ind i mig selv og i bænken, mærker jeg en tilstedeværelse af barmhjertighed, kærlighed, som jeg ikke er forberedt på. Så jeg kigger op. Til siden.

Og der, ved siden af mig, sidder der en mand. Grønlænder. Er det første jeg bemærker. Med fedtet sort hår, snavset tøj, støvler i laser. Flere slidte Nettoposer ved siden af ham. Hjemløs?

Jeg kigger på ham og kigger igen, uden at være klar over, at det er det jeg gør, men langsomt trækker han mig ud af min egen fortvivlelse, og da jeg ser ind i hans øjne, ophæves alt omkring mig, og det eneste jeg oplever, er den barmhjertighed, den kærlighed, som jeg mærkede lige før.

På bænkens ryg har jeg lagt min arm, det samme har han, og mens jeg kigger væk, overvældet af den varme og det håb, som har erstattet tungheden i min krop, finder først vores fingre og siden vores hænder hinanden og i nogle få sekunder, er der en kontakt af noget, der føles som en fuldstændig ren kærlighed og selv mens jeg er opslugt af det, undrer jeg mig samtidig over, hvad helvede det er, der sker!

To. Måske tre sekunder efter, har vi sluppet hinanden igen. Vi smiler til hinanden, toget kommer, jeg står op fra bænken, ind i toget og er væk. Fra ham.

Dette skete for flere år siden. Men oplevelsen var så uventet, fremmed og rystende, at jeg stadig kan genkalde mig den blandede følelse af rationel forundring og dyb kærlighed, som pludselig ramte mig.

Hvordan kunne jeg dog føle en så fuldstændig betingelsesløs samhørighed med en total fremmed, at jeg absolut måtte holde ham i hånden i et øjeblik, og som i det øjeblik fratog mig den sorg, som jeg havde båret rundt på?!!  

Jo jo, det var kærlighed. Den slags kærlighed, som mange religioner prædiker om; en universel kraft vi alle er en del af, hvis vi bare forstår at tappe ind på den. Og det var vel det vi begge gjorde den dag.

Men i lyset af sidste søndags triste 15 års-mærkedag, samme weekends velkomstfest for flygtninge i Forum, EU”s fremtid i lyset af Brexit, det amerikanske valg, der måske aldrig har været så polariseret og fyldt af hadefuld retorik og det mere og mere differentierede terrorbillede, er der i virkeligheden et ord, der meget bedre dækker det uventede møde, nemlig menneskelighed.

På tværs af social klasse, køn, måske geografi, vistnok etnicitet og muligvis kultur, mødtes vi et øjeblik i en forenet menneskelighed, i en fælles genkendelse af hinandens sjæl og længsel efter at være elsket og høre til. At blive set og anerkendt i sin eksistens. At have værdi for andre end sig selv.

Det er denne menneskelighed, der skal skabe fred, muligheder og fælles udvikling. For det er nemlig et helt nødvendigt kollektivt mål, hvis vi skal blive ved med at kultivere os som samfund. Med den sindssyge hastighed alting forandrer sig med i dag, er det fuldstændig uundgåeligt, at vi skal bære menneskeligheden forrest; ellers er der alt for stor risiko for, at vi ender med selvrefererende systemer og regler, der kommer til at virke kontraproduktive ift både mennesker og evolution.

Dem er der rigeligt af skrækeksempler på allerede og de opstår, fordi de i højere grad er båret af angsten for det fremmede, end af længslen efter en forbedring, der har helheden som pejlemærke. I super homogene Danmark er Karina-gate blot den seneste historie om social klasse vi har delt, mens køn og religion til stadighed begge er en kampplads for den rigtige mentalitet og livsform, som vi kan mødes i fjendskab om. Sidstnævnte især siden 2001.

Udfordringen er, at vores historie er en lang krigsfortælling om hvilken kultur, hvilke livsformer og idéer, der skal have lov til at dominere. Disse idékampe har den uheldige sideeffekt, at retorikken om ”dem og os” er en måde at forstå og legitimere os selv og vores ideer på; ved at dehumanisere fjenden, bliver vi ikke selv til skurke, når vi gør de andre til fjender.

Men når vi mødes i en eksistentiel menneskelighed, ophæves kategorierne og vi mærker fællesskabet. Det fællesskab der i største potens kan lande i en organisation som FN, men som vi i hverdagen selv kan praktisere overalt, hvor vi indgår i relationer med andre mennesker. Vi behøver ikke at befinde os i en grusom krig, der kræver FN’s fredsbevarende styrker, for at skabe fred og udvikling; vi kan praktisere denne medmenneskelighed i vores egen hverdag. Så når vi møder speltfaren i børnehaven, der kører løs om nul-fødselsdagskage-politik, eller når kollegaen igen brokker sig over, at ingen rydder op efter sig selv i køkkenet, eller når din partner helt enkelt ikke forstår dig:

Ræk nu bare den hånd ud og se, om ikke freden sker. Det var, hvad den grønlandske mand hjalp mig med at gøre, og ja, du har gættet det, det førte til forening og forsoning, da jeg kom hjem.    

(Kronik i Jyllandsposten søndag 18. september 2016)


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